So Black Friday has passed you by, and Cyber Monday is today, and you are behind on your holiday stress management already.

Sounds like you might be buying into what the retailers always want us to think, there is not enough time, not enough Zuu Zuu dolls, not enough money so you had better get yourself filled up with adrenalin and cortisol and charge out to slay the retail dragons.

The implication of scarcity is a key component in advertising of all kinds, and conversely, that abundance can be had with just this one more purchase, and perhaps you have heard the kids mentioning a preference or two.

If I am not careful, and I am not discerning in regards to my thinking and my breathing and my exercise and my nutrition and my sleep and my stress management, I will fill up with adrenalin and cortisol, which is the chemistry of stress (it happens really fast, in less time than it takes to blink my eyes)and keep that stress chemistry in place in order to live up the ideals of consumption that my culture is telling me I should live up to.

Holiday Stress Management Antidote

Stress management programs always focus on what to think about, and that is part of the holiday stress management solution.

What those programs neglect to teach however is that I may sustain gratitude thoughts, for example, for a few minutes, and those gratitude thoughts will change my chemistry in a healthy direction, a non-artery clogging direction, but I can switch right back to stress chemistry as soon as I contemplate the unpaid mortgage payment and try to figure out how to do both Christmas and the house payment.

So the key to holiday stress management is a balance of stress and relaxation thoughts which happen regularly.

There was a time when we did not have to schedule relaxation and stress, when stress happened only at those moments when we needed to fight for our lives, and if we came out of that struggle still alive, then we rested.

That is how our bodies stress response is supposed to be used. We were relaxing in between episodes of hunting, and in many indigenous cultures, that is still the norm, work to gather food for a day or two, then work on spirituality for several days.

Not in our culture, where we are invited to constantly stay stressed, so we have to plan relaxation, and I think we need to do relaxation in short bursts, and then re-learn to keep it going for longer periods until we learn to keep the stress response a choice again.

If the stress response happens inside me, then the contentment response must also happen there, which means holiday stress management is based on what I think, and how I breathe, and managing those two aspects of human experience is free, although I am sure someone is working on a way to tax the two.

Of Course There is a Hard Hitting Really Effective Holiday Stress Management Tool to Buy…

I began looking for stress management tools as part of a very important struggle that I began about 30 years ago, and I have tried many.

Luckily for us, research has given us tools like neurofeedback, or eeg biofeedback, which helps us train attentional styles in HZ. or cycles per second.

Great tool for ADD/ADHD and alcoholism, to name two, and Heartmath, which is the tool I am going to speak to for holiday stress management.

Heartmath or heart rate variability biofeedback is a tool that helps my train the brain in my heart, the brain in my heart that no one knew about not too many years ago, to beat coherently based on thoughts and breathing. That heart brain is affiliative and cooperative, by the way.

That brain in my heart, which is actually the heart’s own nervous system, will learn and make decisions based on real time feedback from a computer screen in short order.

The kicker about heart rate variability biofeedback is that once I have trained my heart to respond to feedback, and to generate long periods of coherent heart rate variability, I can cue the coherent heart rate simply by remembering my cue thought.

(Remember, it is a perception of “lack” which cues us to make a stress response, and then go shopping and buy stuff to feel relaxed again, so a thought about someone you love should cue a different physiology, correct?)

No shopping necessary, and I can generalize this physiology to other stressful holiday thoughts, for example, having company over when you would prefer that there not be any company.

Are you a golfer, anxiously awaiting spring, or a student getting ready for the SAT or ACT college admissions test, or are you worried about emotional eating during the holidays?

All of those issues can be complicated by runaway stress, and the heart rate variability biofeedback tool impacts stress in a heart beat.

Worried about your brainfitness? Learning the heart rate variability biofeedback process actually opens up the higher perceptual centers of the brain for better brainstorming.

Most brain fitness writers say that we can enhance our brains natural ability to grow new neurons every day, and our brains natural ability to form new connections (neurogenesis and neuroplasticity) by taking care of the pillars of brain fitness, which are physical exercise, nutrition, sleep, stress management, and novel learning experience.

Looks like Heartmath is a perfect fit for holiday stress management, and even New Year’s Resolutions.

I like to use it because it helps me to sustain an attitude of gratitude.

Merry Christmas to you, and may your heart beat coherently this holiday stress season.

It is true that self-help seminars and workshops can do a lot to help you get a better self esteem. It is also true that going to a life coach or a counselor or psychologist for training can work well for some. However, the only thing that can accompany you wherever you go is self-help books, and there are many available on the market by renowned authors. Since the problems of low self esteem are not predominant in America alone, but all around the world, it should not be too hard for you to get your hands on a good self-help book, wherever you may be. Self-help books need not always be on increasing self esteem directly. One look through a book shop’s self-help section will show that you can buy books on hobbies like photography and cooking, and on personal help like doing better at relationships and at work. All these will however help you with better self esteem in the long run. So, there is a self-help book for you, whatever the goals that you set for your self may be. As human beings, we are superior to all other living things on the planet and one of the things that prove this is our ability to effect change on our surroundings. So do get a self-help book on whatever it is that you would like to change, and put what you learn from these books into affect. Soon you will see a positive change in your life, and the feelings of accomplishment that come with this can work wonders for your self-image. So many self-help books have been published to date that it is not a problem finding one on whatever topic you may have in mind. In fact you may face a bigger problem selecting one or two books out of the dozens to choose from. Self-help books are a great thing to carry if you travel a lot. Not only do they help you pass your time constructively they are easy to carry and store. As sophisticated and miniature that palmtop computers have gotten today, the feel of a good book in your hands can never be replaced by a computer, and any one accustomed to handling books will confirm that. We may get so preoccupied in our day to day problems that it is not always easy to take out the time to attend a self improvement seminar or lecture. But we can all at least take out the time and money to get a good self-help book. After all, it is for our own improvement that we do this, so do take the time and effort to get your hands on a book of this sort.

For More Free Information Visit Top Self Help Books

Five Homeschooling Misconceptions By Asha Oshun’ Mali

When I told my mostly middle class family that I was thinking of homeschooling my children, I was met with a host of negative responses. My mother, in particular, was mortified. “Home school!” she said exasperated. “Now why would you want to do that? Don’t you know home school children don’t get into good colleges? And, how will you socialize them?”

I did not know how to respond to her then. What I did know: was that I was not crazy about the education my children were receiving at their perspective schools. I did not blame their teachers at all for this-I knew they were doing the best they could-and honestly, I feel it’s a parent’s job to ensure their children are getting a quality education.

But still, I did not know how the home school processed worked. So, I turned to what I am good at; snooping. I stalked internet websites on homeschooling for weeks- learning all that I could. I also took a trip to the library-a handy free resource-and read books on the subject as well.

Added to this, I found out through word of mouth-which of my friends knew home schooling parents. I learned a lot from my quest, and I certainly learned a lot about home schooling misconceptions.

Misconception number one:

One of the most common misconceptions is that homeschooled students will not be able to socialize with other kids.  Having my children not only socialize with other kids their age, but also participate in community service programs, was very important to me when considering the option of homeschooling.

I wanted to make sure they had hands on experience for their perspective career interest and I also wanted to make sure they understood the importance of volunteering their time to help others in need. My thirteen year old wants to be a Veterinarian. I wondered how I would be able to make sure she was able to learn more about animals.

I found out through my research, that she could not only get experience by working  at animal shelters , but that she would also be able to fulfill a community service component by volunteering her time.

And as far as socialization is concerned, there is plenty of information available on the internet. Home-school.com is just one of the many sites where you can find home school social groups for your particular state.

There are also sites that can help strengthen your child’s skills by allowing them to interact with other learners their age.  Helium.com  is one such site. Helium offers teenagers, 13 and up, the chance to display their writing and the opportunity to read the writing of others.

Misconceptions number two:

A friend was careful to advise me that homeschooling was illegal. I told her I did not think so, but she insisted. “You are going to go to jail and lose your kids if you home school girl.” She said. While the mere thought of doing something illegal-especially where my children were concerned-was terrifying for me, my research showed me that homeschooling is indeed- legal.

There are state rules that must be followed however. I was reassured after learning from Fine Homeschooling.com (www. finehomeschooling.com) that homeschooling is legal in all 50 states. I was also encouraged by the fact that there were many sites that had detailed information on the legal information regarding homeschooling for each state.

One of the most informative was the Homeschooling Legal Defense Association.( www.hslda.org) The site is very detailed in regard to the legal ins and outs of what you can and can’t do as a home school parent or guardian.

Misconception number 3:

The next misconception I was met with was that to teach children at home you needed at least a bachelor’s degree and a teaching certificate. I learned that is in not true either. However, each state has different laws regarding homeschooling.

In Georgia for instance, all you need is a high school diploma. And, you have to make sure that you hand in an attendance sheet at the end of every month so that you are in compliance with truancy laws.

Teacher Certification is also not required in most states. You must be careful, however, to make sure that you are competent at the subjects you are teaching.  Your child’s education is extremely important. Don’t be afraid to enlist tutors to aide you in giving your child the highest quality education possible.

And you will need to make sure the tutors are qualified. In some states, like California, tutors must be certified.  However, you will have to do the research to find out what your states home schooling laws are.

Misconception number 4:

“Are you going to be able to afford it? I mean, the economy is pretty bad out there and you won’t be able to work full time if you home school.” This was a legitimate concern for me. I knew that I and my husband would have to work.

But, I knew too, that our schedules could be set up in a way that would allow us to offer our children the best of our time, resources, and attention.  As far as affordability is concerned, homeschooling is no more expensive than public school and far less expensive than most private schools.  Homework on your part is important.

The internet offers a plethora of websites on homeschooling.  One of my favorites is Successful Homeschooling (www.successful-homeschooling.com). This wonderful website gives useful information and links on where to find cost cutting materials such as used books, free and low cost homeschooling links, and much more. And there are many other sites like this one available on the web. Just head over to Google and do a search. You will be amazed at what you will find.

Misconception number 5:

Can home schooled children get into good colleges?  According to Karl M. Bundy they can and not just in America. Mr. Bundy (www.learninfreedom.org) , list well over 1,000 colleges that have accepted and still do accept home school students.

And, some of America’s finest colleges and universities, like Harvard, are listed as well.  If you are worried about standardized test like the A.C.T and S.A.T, you don’t have to. According to Isabel Shaw in an article written for Back to School with Family Education (school.familyeducation.com),

“On average, homeschooled kids score one year ahead of their schooled peers on standardized tests. The longer the student home schools, the wider this gap becomes. By the time homeschooled children are in the eighth grade, they test four years ahead of their schooled peers.”  (school.familyeducation.com)

Of course, you as the parent educator will have to do your own foot work where getting your child into the school of your choice is concerned. But, that would be your job no matter what system you choice for your child to attend; private, public or home.

All in all, homeschooling can be an enriching experience not only for your children, but for you as well. Don’t listen to the naysayers; do your own snooping. You will be surprised and delighted at what you will find.